Monster Menu

as served at Oakthorpe Primary School

(which actually has the best school dinners the editor of Monster Motel has ever tasted!)

Starter : Snake soup

By Matthew, 9, Oakthorpe, Leics., UK

The soup is deadly and a total disaster.


5 snakes, 15 slugs, 2 snails some salt and water.


Boil 10 slugs and add little bit off salt then put it into a saucepan.
Then chop the snakes up and put them into the saucepan and stir.
Then put all the snails in the pan and then put the rest of the in the pan and all the water.
And then leave it to cook for 1 hour.

Main Courses

Snake stew

By David, 9, Oakthorpe, Leics., UK

Very terrible and not tasty


snakes, soil and salad


  1. find some snakes

  2. then find some soil

  3. find some salad

  4. put contents in large bowl and mix with bare hands

  5. serve on 4 plates

Blood sauce with babiesí eyeballs

By Ellie, 9, Oakthorpe, Leics., UK

A lovely treat that would make any monster dribble


Human blood
Babiesí eyeballs


Get babiesí eyeballs and drop them in human blood which goes in a big bowl,
then put it in the monsterwave for 10 mins until all the eyeballs melt.
Take out of the monsterwave and leave it for 3 minutes to cool down
then itís ready to eat



By Thomas, 9, Oakthorpe, Leics., UK

A very slimy dish to gobble all up


A dead dogs eye
rotten human body


Make the blood sauce to put on the human body
Slap on the guano and mix it up to make the slush

Slime cream with blood sauce

By Anna, 8, Oakthorpe, Leics., UK

Absolutely gorgeous and would make any monsterís mouth water


melted brain with slime all over it
human blood to wash it down


Get a human brain and put in the monster-wave for 10 mins, then when you get it out slap slime all over it (cold) then to top it off put warm human blood all over

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Concept © 1999 by Mark Burgess and Kids on the Net March 1999