Chapter Five

by Jamila Gavin

 

They stood beneath the great pink glass dome of the Palace of Inventions. Before them, each on a crystal plinth, perched an Arch Inventor.

There were six of them; tall, enveloped in long feathery deep, pink cloaks, with strange beaked faces, and beady eyes which seemed to gleam like faraway stars.

She looked at the other Daisy with Captain Slug. She was an exact copy. She shivered a little, suddenly afraid.

"I am ME, you know," she whispered to Pinash. "I am the real Daisy."

"Can you prove it?" asked Pazaz.

"I don't know," she whispered. "What will happen if I can't?"

Captain Slug entered the arena with his invention

The real Daisy looked distractedly at all the inventions raged round the hall, gathered from every corner of the universe. Some she recognised from her own time and place on Earth: a steam combustion engine, a gas-operated Rubbish Destructor, a combined griller-boiler and, the one thing she had always wanted when she was on earth - a bicycle. Daisy gasped.

"Number 23 Yellowarelid. Demonstrate please," cried the organiser.

Captain Slug slimed a creepy smile. He held in his hand a remote control. He pointed at Daisy 2 and pressed.

"Hello, I'm Daisy, Your all Purpose Domestic Cleaner. I can sweep, I can scrub, I can polish, I can clean. Command and I will obey."

"Scrub the floor, Daisy!" commanded Captain Slug.

From out of Daisy's arm socket came a mop, from out of an ear water poured into a bucket, and from out of the palm of her hand she produced a bar of soap. She dipped the mop into the bucket and began to scrub.

Everyone clapped. "Wonderful! What an invention. Nine out of ten."

And so the Copy Daisy demonstrated all her skills to thunderous applause.

"She does everything you do," murmured Pazaz doubtfully.

"Number 24!"

"That's us," groaned Pinash, Proddle and Pazaz. A pink spotlight fell upon them. There was a gasp. Not TWO Daisys?

"I protest!" Captain Slug was shouting as loud as a slug can shout.

"Pinash, Proddle and Pazaz are intergalactic industrial spies who have deliberately copied my invention. I demand it be destroyed."

The six Arch Inventors stepped down from their crystal pedestals and looked sternly at the two Daisys.

"It is forbidden to enter two inventions which are the same."

"I am n…not the s..same," protested Daisy. "I'm a Human Being, not a machine."

"A HumanBeingnotaMachine?" said one Arch Inventor.

"Can you sweep, can you scrub, can you polish can you clean?" asked another.

"Of course I can, but I'm not going to. I only went with Pinash, Proddle and Pazaz to get away from all that."

"See! She's a fake!" bellowed Captain Slug, and he came slithering towards her.

Daisy panicked. She dashed to the bicycle, jumped on it. "Quick!" she shouted to Pinash, Proddle and Pazaz. "Jump on. Let's escape!"

They jumped on. One behind, one on the crossbar and one in front. Then she cycled away, wobbling all over the place.

But suddenly everyone was cheering. "THAT'S what it's for! It's the best invention since the pop-up toaster!"

Stop, stop!" yelled Pinash. "You've done it, Daisy! We're going to be all right after all. We submitted this contraption years ago, but didn't know what it was for. Go back. This can be our submission."

Daisy cycled back in front of the judges.

"This invention will revolutionise our transport. Spaceships are no use for getting to work," declared Pinash.

"What's more, it's clean, it's quiet," said Pazaz.

And what's more, it's good for you," said Proddle.

Do bicycles need Daisys?" enquired the Arch Inventors.

"I can teach Pinkerellians how to ride bicycles," said Daisy.

"But there's only one bicycle!" they cried.

"I have an idea," said Daisy. "Use Captain Slug's Copyo-Clono to make as many as you need."

"Good idea!" said the Chief Arch Inventor, " Pinash, Proddle and Pazaz are joint winners of the Rose Cup with Captain Slug!"

He continued, "And I hereby appoint Daisy as Chief Adviser to the Department of the Use of Inventions and Good Ideas."

Captain Slug was in a terrible sulk, oozing green slime all over the place. This was not what he wanted.

"I don't trust Captain Slug," muttered Pinash.

"But do you trust me?" asked Daisy. "How do you know I'm me and not HER?" They looked at the other Daisy, still marching up and down with her mop.

"Whoever you are, we prefer someone with good ideas and who thinks for herself," said Proddle. "I hope you'll stay and accept the job."

"Oh yes, I like it here," said Daisy.

Three pink suns were setting in a purple Pinkerellian sky. Far away, Daisy could see a faint, shimmering silver speck.

"Goodnight Earth," she murmured. "I'll come back when I don't have to scrub and clean."

The End

© Jamila Gavin 1999
last amended 28th September 1999

Start the story again

The Cheltenham Festival of Literature home page